How I Met Jesus
Hey girl,
I grew up in church, knowing what was “right” and what was “wrong”, and following all the rules. If I had to pin a word on what I believed, I would say, “Oh, I’m a Christian” but I had no idea what that truly meant. I didn’t know this meant having a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus. I didn’t know this meant grace is greater. I didn’t know this meant I could face giants. I didn’t know this meant the Spirit of the Living God was INSIDE of me. I didn’t know.
I think this is something so common in our church world - young kids growing up, getting “saved”, and just following the rules with a title of Christian in their IG profile. It saddens me because I wish someone would have told me just exactly Who Jesus was to me.
I wish someone would have told me that He doesn’t turn away from me when I screw up, He doesn’t cast blame, He doesn’t push guilt, and He doesn’t expect me to be perfect. I wish someone would have told me that He’s the best friend I’ll ever have, that He loves me through everything, that He will always pick me up when I fall, that He’s my SAVIOR, and that I can talk to Him like I would you.
So, all of this being said. If I had to date the day I got “saved”, I’d tell you I was 10 years old at a Chapel service held at my Christian Academy I attended. I prayed and prayed that Jesus would forgive me. This prayer was completely out of fear. Fear of going to hell, fear of not being good enough for Jesus, fear of SO many toxic things I had been told. Salvation shouldn’t be pushed on someone with FEAR. Salvation is something that you should share with people because it gives them LIFE and FREEDOM to truly live.
Fast forward to spring 2016: I was reading Follow Me by David Platt on my bed all cozy in my pjs. I had recently gone through some tough things, things that nearly broke me, and was so beyond reach. I had lost my appetite for church, aka being religious, and was just lost. I was reading chapter 2, The Great Invitation, of this book and that’s when it happened.
On a sunny morning in Fort Riley, Kansas, sitting on my bed in my pjs, I found Jesus. I found Him offering open arms to me. I found Him offering compassion. I found Him offering a shoulder to cry on. I found Him saying to me, “It’s okay. Lean on me. I’m not going anywhere.” I can still see the tear stains on the pages of this book I hold so dear to me. The Lord knew what I needed to hear and exactly the day I needed to hear it.
He pursued me for years. He watched me stumble, He watched me wonder, He watched me doubt, He watched me try religion over and over, He watched me search, and He never left my side. He was always there. Chasing after me. He followed me up the mountains and He followed me into the valleys.
I just never knew. I never knew He could be my best friend. I never knew He wanted to KNOW me. I never knew it was about BEING with Him and not WORKING to Him. I never knew.
This may not be the typical “testimony” y’all were thinking you’d read from me. But it’s the truth. It’s raw. It’s real. It’s my story. There are so many puzzle pieces that fit into this and make it all come together. I’m going to share those with you soon. In my book. Consider this the official announcement.
I’m writing a book this year. It’s been on my heart for two years and this year I’m finally putting pen to paper. Pray for me as I go through this process of basically laying my heart out there for everyone to see. Because just like this, it’s going to be raw and real. But I know God told me to write to help those of you who will encounter those same seasons I did. I love you so much. I’m praying for you all daily. Thank you for reading.
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